In lieu of Gen Petraeus, Congress has considered tapping Colonel Conan to lead the Afghan war effort. Official sources report that Colonel Conan is disappointed with the nomination citing that "There just isn't enough killing going on to pique my interest." The former special-operations officer is known for his rabid taste for meat products and is considered a pioneer in the field of Pug-Chase, his breed's favorite past-time. As always, Through a Glass, Darkly will keep you posted on the latest developments in this breaking story.
4 comments:
Conan made colonel? I'm impresed. Give him a hooya from me.
Haha. Awesome. You can imitate the journalistic style quite well. :)
Speaking of journalism, look, I found this gem from 2007... http://www.theonion.com/articles/gen-petraeus-delivers-iraq-report,8316/
and also, be sure to check out the Patriotism edition (for the 4th, duh! Don't be a Commie!) http://www.theonion.com/section/patriotism/
Wow! Who's butt did he sniff? I still remember when he was peeing on the floor and doing impressions of a bat. He sure has gotten serious about his career!
Actually, I miss the little guy.
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